Does Your Teenage Daughter Have Mood Swings?

If you have never experienced a teenage girl's mood swing consider yourself fortunate. I have lived through many a mood swing puzzled as to what just happened.

It's amazing how you can be enjoying a soda together, talking and laughing and all of a sudden this alien takes over your daughter's body. She screams, she yells and she storms out of the room, leaving you with two soda cans and a cloud of dust.

I can offer some suggestions on coping with these mood swings:

1. Don't take it personally. I know it's tough to not take it personally when you were just screamed at, however what I've often found is the underlying hostility is toward something that happened earlier in the day, or even three days ago.

2. Don't respond. What I've found is that you can not talk calmly or rationally to an irrational teenage girl. Any response will only cause additional anger and yelling.

3. When times are calm, make sure your daughter knows that you're always there for her to talk to and that you do understand that some days can be tough. Encourage her to share with you what's going on.

4. If you do end up reacting, as soon as you catch yourself, walk away. Let your daughter know that YOU need a ten minute time out. Use those precious minutes to recompose yourself and gain control again.

5. If you really believe that your daughter's behavior is not in sync with other girls, have her tested. My own daughter has ADD and this was an added component to her mood swings.

6. Talk to other moms to determine what typical teenage girl behavior is and what might fall outside of that "typical" box.

7. Stay involved. Know your daughter's friends and know what they are doing. Peer pressure is unreal for teenage girls.

While these tips won't stop your teen's mood swings, I hope they will help you keep a cool head.

Audrey Okaneko is mom to two girls. She can be reached at audreyoka@cox.net or visited at http://www.todays-parent.com

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Vitamins & Diets : What Is a Healthy Diet for Teenagers?

What Do You Do When Your Teenager Starts Drinking?

Let's be honest, the problem of teenage drinking doesn't enter the mind of most parents, especially when looking into those innocent eyes of a baby. How can they possibly grow into a teenager with an alcohol problem? It may not seem possible that it could happen to your child, but the reality is that it can and for many it will. Turning a blind eye to the possible problem and not taking any preventive measures will only make it more likely to happen. It will also most likely mean that getting the teenager to accept they have a drinking problem and deal with it will be more difficult to do.
Raising children in a healthy family relationship is the first step in helping to prevent that situation. Next is being open with your child and reassuring them that you are there to support them and help them through whatever difficulties they may go through in life. Lastly, it is to discourage the act of allowing underage children the odd drink with special meals and/or special occasions. It is not uncommon for many parents to allow their children a small glass of wine during a toast at a special dinner or occasion; unfortunately, they are introducing their children to alcohol before they understand the responsibilities that come with drinking. Besides that, alcohol is, basically, a poison to the body and can cause harm to those who drink too much at one time. Being the responsible parent who realizes that teen drinking is a very real problem in today's world will not only seek to educate their children early on about the problems associated with drinking, they will also develop an open relationship with their children so that they feel they have support from family instead of turning to substance abuse for the answer. This effort, of course, does not entirely guarantee that your teenager will not develop a drinking problem. Keeping an eye open for signs of trouble, such as a change of personality or attitude, is a good way to be aware of whether the teenager may be developing such a problem.
If your teenager were to develop a drinking problem, catching it as soon as possible and dealing with it immediately will ensure a better chance that the teenager can deal with it; however, many parents are at a loss of what to do. Fortunately, the internet is a resource that can be crucial to helping a parent to pull their teenager away from their problem. Consulting an online counselor is a great idea for anyone who doesn't know what to do. Online counselors offer their services online so that they are accessible to anyone who needs some help. Speaking with an online therapist may also be more comfortable for the teenager because they may not feel that their space or business is being invaded too much. Online therapy could be beneficial to both the parents and their troubled teen because they can get the advice and help they need in the comfort of their home.
Jennifer Baxt is the owner of CompleteCounselingSolutions.com which offers a variety of online counseling services. If you would like to know more about Jennifer or any of our online therapists, visit our website.
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Boosting Your Teenager's Self-esteem - Important Tips For Parents

Every parent, ideally, would like their child to develop enough Self-Esteem so that they can succeed in life. This all starts the moment a child emerges from birth, and continues as the child ventures out into the world, as they mature into adulthood.
Studies show that there are two ways in Self-Esteem is defined by adults. This is how adults can perceive oneself, to others. Teens, on the other hand, feel that if they are to fit in with the rest of their peers, they have to act cool and join in with others.
Is there a reason for this difference? This could be due to the age gap as adults have had time to experience more and can distinguish between important matters against trivial ones. Teenagers are still in the learning Process and finding their feet.
So, what changes should adults make in order to continue to build up Self-Esteem in a teenager? Teens are in the age of discovery, so the best thing an adult can do is to be open to answering any questions on particular subjects, and support each individual in the choices that they make.
For example, if a teenager wants to try out for the football team, parents hope for the best for them that things will work out fine. Others, will want to look out for their child and try to avoid them hurting themselves in any kind of sport.
Parents also discipline a teenager for any wrong behaviour which is another part of building Self-Esteem. They should explain why they have done something wrong which is better than yelling, to enable the individual to understand what is unacceptable behaviour, in the hope that they will not make the same mistake again.
Another way of to build Self-Esteem, is that parents should know when to comfort their child when things don't quite work out. If parents decide that they have to go their separate ways, a teenager will feel devastated if a couple break up, as it is their first love which comes from both parents. All parents can do is say that everything will work itself out in the end, and maybe, someone better will come along in the future.
Self-Esteem does not come from just the parents; it also comes from teachers your child meets when they start school and those that are considered friends by the teenager. Other adults then hold the responsibility of 'moulding their child' into respectable adults.
Friends are very much like parents, in being able to offer comfort if their son or daughter feels they are too ashamed to open up to them about certain issues in life.
By building Self-Esteem, this helps the teenager to evolve. A person can change if they feel the need, or they can stay where they are if they happy - their 'comfort zone'. Life doesn't always turn out as one would expect, so this is gives the perfect chance to start afresh, as though giving oneself a new lease of life.
An individual eventually learns that Self-Esteem is innate, once they have discovered their strengths and weaknesses. They can adapt by focusing on what they are good at, and learn to acquire new 'tricks' to improve on those weak points as they come across them.
It is true to say, that when all else fails and the teenager feels like they have a heavy load on their shoulder, it is the parents that they can turn to. This is the biggest responsibility of being a parent, and once their son or daughter grows up and ,maybe, decides that is time to have their own children, the guardians can take a break.
Abhishek is a Self-Development expert and he has got some great Self-Esteem Boosting Secrets up his sleeves! Download his FREE 52 Pages Ebook, "How To Boost Your Self-esteem" from his website http://www.Positive-You.com/668/index.htm. Only limited Free Copies available.
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Parenting Wild Teens - A Challenging and Stressful Experience

When you are a parent of a wild teen it can be a very challenging and stressful experience you will have to face, but a lot of parents have to face it. Wild teens are very independent and think they are always going to be okay. They are definite risk takers and don't realize what consequences will come out of doing something bad. Now, most of why the teens are wild is because of peer pressure. It's all over this world and will not stop. Every teen wants to fit in with the crowd these days and be with the popular group. They want to be seen and known. So, usually if they follow the bad crowd they will still do whatever just to fit in and look cool. Some signs you may face when your teen might be turning wild:
-Cheating -Stealing -Lying -Smoking -Partying -Arguing with family members
Depression can be one major downfall the wild teen may be feeling. Depression among teens is very common and the parents might not see it. Counseling or some kind of treatment is a definite for this type of situation. You just have to tell the symptoms when they appear. Low confidence can really bring down a teenager. If they think they aren't pretty enough or they are over weight or just not smart enough that will really affect them in a bad way. They will also experience a lot of crying and stress. They have to let their emotions out some how. And the scariest thing is suicide. It's very common among wild teens to commit suicide. So, when your teenager starts to act out you need to figure out why as soon as you can. Often, the wild teens will end up pregnant or with some type of STD. It's a very scary world out there and all you do is want your teenager happy and safe.
When teenagers act out they might show signs of sexual behavior. For instance, wearing very short shorts, or shirts that show off too much, wearing too much makeup, boys around when the parents aren't home, etc.
Now, if you have tried all the counseling you think you can do, the other option that some parents take is boot camp. During boot camp they can learn about authority, discipline and some military exercises and a lot of physical training. This would definitely be a life changing event for them and later on down the road might thank you for it. There are different types of boot camps, it's all up to what you think would be best for your teenager.
This is a very scary situation to face and you have to be bold and stand up as a parent and do what you have to do to get your teenager back on the right road. It can be done. Teenagers are people too and they to make mistakes like the rest of us and they also need second chances and and love.
Wendy Pan is an accomplished niche website developer and author. To learn more about wild teens, please visit Teen Girls Health for current articles and discussions.
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Navigating in the New World: Parents and Teenagers Growing Together

One of the most prevalent myths of our modern culture is the one that says, "Adolescence is a time of inevitable conflict." You will hear doctors say it, and teachers, and therapists, and pastors, and even parents. It seems that nearly everyone has bought into this myth.The thinking goes like this: 1. Teenage "rebellion" is normal; 2. Because teenage "rebellion" is normal it is to be accepted, perhaps even encouraged by those who work regularly with teenagers; 3. Because teenage "rebellion" is normal, teenagers who do not rebel are "not normal," and will certainly have serious problems later in life; 4. Therefore, to be healthy, teenagers must rebel; The Conclusion to this logic is that "Rebellion today equals healthy living tomorrow." Therefore, Rebellion is simply an investment in the future!However, the Truth is that conflict and rebellion during the adolescent years is not inevitable. In fact, the adolescent years can be a time of great closeness between parents and teens. The fact that teenage rebellion is "common" does not make it "normal." By "common" we mean a behavior that is observed often; "Normal" means that a certain behavior is the way that God intended for the behavior to be from the beginning. Never confuse "normal" with "common."Teenage rebellion is simply rebellion against authority, against their parents.Rebellion is not simply a difference of opinion between parents and teens. Please do not interpret a difference of opinion as rebellion. And rebellion is not simply a teenager's attempt to "grow up" and become more "independent." Instead, rebellion is the attempt to overthrow the legitimate family government that is in place. Rebellion in a family is similar in this respect to rebellion in a nation's government.Rebellion by teenagers against their parents is the attempt to overthrow the parents as the authority in the home; the attempt by the teenager to make himself "King" in his own life; the rejection by the teenager of his parent's values and beliefs.In every layer of human society God has instituted a system of "government" or a "chain of command structure." These systems are seen from national governments right down to marriages, families, and the church. Every social organization, or social system, has an organization that provides structure, teaches values to new members, provides for the enforcement of values among its members, and provides leadership.The family is important to our society, as it provides the next generation with core values and beliefs, and with a model of appropriate behavior.In America, the leading causes of teenage rebellion are:5. Moral relativism in the culture;4. Lack of parental supervision, or lack of parental influence;3. Outside influences from the culture (especially the glorification of sex) delivered to teenagers through the entertainment media, such as popular music, movies, and TV;2. Peer dependence, peer influence, and peer pressure;1. Boyfriends/girlfriends.Work with your teen, spend time with your teen, and talk with your teen. There is no substitute for your time and attention invested in his or her life.
Douglas Cowan, Psy.D., is a family therapist who has been working with ADHD children and their families since 1986. He is the clinical director of the ADHD Information Library's family of seven web sites, including http://www.newideas.net, helping over 350,000 parents and teachers learn more about ADHD each year. Dr. Cowan also serves on the Medical Advisory Board of VAXA International of Tampa, FL., is President of the Board of Directors for KAXL 88.3 FM in central California, and is President of NewIdeas.net Incorporated.
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Teenagers in America Today

"Family Matters" was the headline that caught my attention in the newspaper. That's the name of my radio program here in California's central valley. It was interesting enough for me to buy the paper and read the story. The article was about a recent study called The National Longitudinal Study on Adolescent Health, a survey of about 90,000 teenagers (age 12-18). The sub-headline was "Study debunks belief nothing works with teens."
My first response was, "Who's belief is that?" The reporter wrote as if a new revelation had just been handed down from heaven in the form of this study. As a result of this major study on adolescents, she wrote, we have found that "families are more important than previously thought, perhaps as important as peers. . . The primacy of peer relationships has been a widely held concept among professionals since the 1960's."
Yes, the reporter, and the researchers, were shocked to find out that the family is still important! "These findings offer the parents of America a blueprint for what works in protecting their kids from harm," said Richard Udry of UNC Chapel Hill.
What is this amazing, secret blueprint that will now be revealed to you parents who are assumed to not know any better? "The most significant finding is that the teenagers who reported feeling close to their families were the least likely to engage in any of the risky behaviors studied . . . Nearly as important were high expectations from the parents for their teenager's school performance."
I'm stunned.
They surveyed 90,000 kids to find out that families that love, care for, and nurture each other produce kids who don't get in trouble as much as families that cast their kids into the hands of other teenagers (known as the "peer group") to be raised by a pack of 15 year olds. Also, families where parents actually CARE about school performance, and expect their kids to work to their potential produce kids who don't get into trouble as much as families who don't care.
I'm glad science has finally come around to this point of view.
How bad are things across America? Pretty bad for many families. Using a sample size of 12,118 students interviewed, here's the picture of teenagers in America today:
Teens who smoke 25 percent
Smoked marijuana at least once in past month 11 percent
Used alcohol more than once in past month 17 percent
Attempted suicide in past year 3 percent
Seventh and Eight Graders who have engaged in sex 16 percent
High Schoolers (9th - 12th grades) who have engaged in sex 48 percent
"The only factor that was linked with a lower risk factor across the board was a close-knit family, the study found."
So parents, please get more involved in the lives of your children. Spend more time with them. Quantity time is as important as quality time. Encourage your teens to work hard to reach their goals. Encourage them to "do justice, love mercy, and walk humbly with their God." Parents should be their teen's role models, not other teens who have yet to experience much in the way of life or wisdom themselves. Parents, let's step it up a bit. It will make a big difference in the lives of our teens.
Douglas Cowan, Psy.D., is a family therapist who has been working with ADHD children and their families since 1986. He is the clinical director of the ADHD Information Library's family of seven web sites, including http://www.newideas.net, helping over 350,000 parents and teachers learn more about ADHD each year. Dr. Cowan also serves on the Medical Advisory Board of VAXA International of Tampa, FL., is President of the Board of Directors for KAXL 88.3 FM in central California, and is President of NewIdeas.net Incorporated.
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